Ok, so the silling tagging thing has jumped me again. Of course, being a guy, I like being jumped, so here we go:
1. If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be?
On a cloud so I could look down at all the minions who will worship my godhood!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. What is your favorite article of clothing?
My black silk garter belt with matching stockings.......ooops!!! I mean my black leather blazer.
3. Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex?
Eyes.
4. What is the last CD you bought?
Bought? I download individual songs, or borrow off of friends, or get them as a gift.
5. Where is your favorite place to be?
With the people I care about.
6. Where is your least favorite place to be?
Between a woman and a shoe store.
7. What is your favorite place to be massaged?
:) Hur hur hur.
8. Strong in mind, or strong in body?
Odour! I mean neither. I am a lazy flabby wimp who is mentally diseased and unstable.
9. What time do you wake up in the morning?
I get out of bed at 7:30am on weekdays, but don't think I have ever actually "woken up".
10. What is your favorite kitchen appliance?
My son. He is very helpful in the kitchen.
11. What makes you really angry?
Biting into a carmel cream and getting a cherry.
12. If you could play any intstrument, what would it be?
Bass Guitar.
13. Favorite colour?
Black, then red, then plaid.
14. Which do you prefer? Sports car or SUV?
I don't fucking care! I just want a bloody car!!
15. Do you beleive in the afterlife?
I have to deal with the crazy shit in this life!!! I haven't got time to think about the next one.
16. Favorite children's book?
Encyclopedia Brown
17. What is your favorite season?
HOCKEY SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
18. Your least favorite household chore?
All of them!
19. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
MIND TAKING BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ooooh ehhhh ooooh)
20. If you have a tattoo, what is it?
Which one? The playing card of the Joker with a tear in his eye holding a Phantom mask? Raisltin's eyes? Or the tattoo that is the initials of myself, wife and son?
21. Can you juggle?
Not even my life!!
22. The one person from your past that you wish you could go back and talk to?
Rusty and Crash to find out why they cut me out of their lives after 20 years without an explination. ( I would even accept "All I have to say is that you are an asshole.")
23. What is your favorite day?
None, I am Nightbreed baby!!!!!!!!!!!
24. What is in the trunk of your car?
If I had a car, I would put anything in it!!! Even bodies if i needed to!!
25. Which do you prefer, sushi or hamburger?
MEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
Here Is A Thought
So I was talking with a friend the other day and the topic of mind riddles came up.
This got me thinking about how much I love the buggers. So I decided to post a few, but one at a time.
Some are ones I heard years ago, and some are ones I recently read. As far as I know none are copyrighted, so I am sorry if you read it elsewhere. Post your answers in the comments section.
Ready?
Ok, here we go.
Battlestar Galactica
Breakfast At Tiffany's
Star Trek: TNG
Rocky III
There is a common thread that links these together.
What is it?
This got me thinking about how much I love the buggers. So I decided to post a few, but one at a time.
Some are ones I heard years ago, and some are ones I recently read. As far as I know none are copyrighted, so I am sorry if you read it elsewhere. Post your answers in the comments section.
Ready?
Ok, here we go.
Battlestar Galactica
Breakfast At Tiffany's
Star Trek: TNG
Rocky III
There is a common thread that links these together.
What is it?
Saturday, January 20, 2007
THEIVES, THEIVES, FUCKIN' THEIVES!!!!!!!!
So I am at a mall with my wife and a friend and his kid and my kid. We sit at a 2 seater table. The kids share one seat and my buddy, who has had knee surgery, takes the other seat. No big deal. It was my suggestion.
I put my black leather biker jacket with my house keys, cellphone, and his car keys on the back of the chair that the kids are sitting on. We are at this 2 seater for 5 minutes, and then we see a 4 seater open up, so we move to the better seats. This 4 seater is 6 feet away from the 2 seater.
15 minutes later I realize that I don't see my biker jacket. We look over at the 2 seater. IT IS GONE!!!!! None of the mall cleaners saw it. No one handed it in to them. We go to Mall Services, and no one has handed it in.
So I end up having to spend $60.00 for a cab so we can get back to my buddy's place. Use the spare house keys to get in, so we can get the spare car keys, and back to the mall.
This took an hour and it still had not been turned in when I got back to the mall.
IF IT AIN'T YOURS, DON'T FUCKING TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck the Justice System. Cut the hands of a thief like they do in some cultures!! Then have a showing on all the news programs and in all the paper every day of the latest batch of hands that used to belong to the little bastards who still don't get the fucking point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I put my black leather biker jacket with my house keys, cellphone, and his car keys on the back of the chair that the kids are sitting on. We are at this 2 seater for 5 minutes, and then we see a 4 seater open up, so we move to the better seats. This 4 seater is 6 feet away from the 2 seater.
15 minutes later I realize that I don't see my biker jacket. We look over at the 2 seater. IT IS GONE!!!!! None of the mall cleaners saw it. No one handed it in to them. We go to Mall Services, and no one has handed it in.
So I end up having to spend $60.00 for a cab so we can get back to my buddy's place. Use the spare house keys to get in, so we can get the spare car keys, and back to the mall.
This took an hour and it still had not been turned in when I got back to the mall.
IF IT AIN'T YOURS, DON'T FUCKING TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck the Justice System. Cut the hands of a thief like they do in some cultures!! Then have a showing on all the news programs and in all the paper every day of the latest batch of hands that used to belong to the little bastards who still don't get the fucking point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Band Names I Would Like To See
Every now and thenm I hear or think of something that sounds like a good name for a band. Here are some of them:
Sin Bin Wardens
Dirty Shanty Lust
The Weasel Jambouree
Pierced Ankles
Let me know if you think of any others.
Sin Bin Wardens
Dirty Shanty Lust
The Weasel Jambouree
Pierced Ankles
Let me know if you think of any others.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Tag!!! I Am It
SILLY MEME
1.When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I don't look in the mirror. They break when I do.
2.How much cash do you have on you?
None. I am so broke, homeless people are offering me change.
3.What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Whore. Sigh, the good old days.
4.Do you label yourself?
No. The stitching hurt when the needle went through my skin.
5.Bright or Dark Room?
Dark
6.Why is there always a missing question?
Better question is why did it leave.
7.What does your watch look like?
Don't wear a watch. That way I show up whenever I want.
8.What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching TV wishing sleep would take me like a horny woman.
9.Where is your nearest 7-11?
Don't know. The one across the street was torn down for a self cleaning car wash. (Why would a car wash need to clean itself?)
10.What’s a word that you say a lot?
"The".
11.Who told you he/she loved you last?
My son.
12.Last furry thing you touched?
Myself.
13.How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None. Went digital baby.
14.Favorite age you have been so far?
624. Sigh. To be young and in Pompei again.
15.Your worst enemy?
The Penguins. (C'mon, you knew I had to get them in there somewhere!)
16.What is your current desktop picture?
It changes to random pictures.
17.What was the last thing you said to someone?
I Love You Buddy. I tell my son this everymorning.
18.The last song you listened to?
Sacrifice by Edguy
19.What time of day were you born?
It was 12:45pm in Scotland, and that translates into 7:45am in Toronto.
20.What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Leave and bitch.
21.Do you consider yourself kind?
Kind of what? Kiddding. I hope so
22.What’s your life motto?
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
23.Name three things you have on you at all times.
My skin, my hair and my tattoos.
24.Can you change the oil on a car?
Yes, but it is a bitch putting the diaper on.
25.When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
What century is it?
1.When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I don't look in the mirror. They break when I do.
2.How much cash do you have on you?
None. I am so broke, homeless people are offering me change.
3.What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Whore. Sigh, the good old days.
4.Do you label yourself?
No. The stitching hurt when the needle went through my skin.
5.Bright or Dark Room?
Dark
6.Why is there always a missing question?
Better question is why did it leave.
7.What does your watch look like?
Don't wear a watch. That way I show up whenever I want.
8.What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching TV wishing sleep would take me like a horny woman.
9.Where is your nearest 7-11?
Don't know. The one across the street was torn down for a self cleaning car wash. (Why would a car wash need to clean itself?)
10.What’s a word that you say a lot?
"The".
11.Who told you he/she loved you last?
My son.
12.Last furry thing you touched?
Myself.
13.How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None. Went digital baby.
14.Favorite age you have been so far?
624. Sigh. To be young and in Pompei again.
15.Your worst enemy?
The Penguins. (C'mon, you knew I had to get them in there somewhere!)
16.What is your current desktop picture?
It changes to random pictures.
17.What was the last thing you said to someone?
I Love You Buddy. I tell my son this everymorning.
18.The last song you listened to?
Sacrifice by Edguy
19.What time of day were you born?
It was 12:45pm in Scotland, and that translates into 7:45am in Toronto.
20.What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Leave and bitch.
21.Do you consider yourself kind?
Kind of what? Kiddding. I hope so
22.What’s your life motto?
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
23.Name three things you have on you at all times.
My skin, my hair and my tattoos.
24.Can you change the oil on a car?
Yes, but it is a bitch putting the diaper on.
25.When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
What century is it?
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Random Weirdness That Proves My Brain Should Not Be Left To It's Own Devices
Ok, so I am completely bored and asked my friend what I should do. She sugguested that i come up with reasons for different cartoon characters to be charged on Harvey Birdman (Shaggy and Scooby getting busted for possession is still the best one).
Instead I came up with an idea of my own, so here they are.
CHARACTER NAME CHANGES IF STAR WARS WAS A PORNOGRAPHIC MOVIE
Darth Vader - Deep Vibrator
Han Solo - Hand Solo
(Princess) Leia Organa- (Princess) Lay-Me To Orgasm
Anikan Skywalker - And-I'm-In Bedlayer
Yoda - Mona (Cheesy, I know, but what on this list isn't?)
Emperor Palpatine - Mounting Papsmear (Did I just get that gross?)
Chewie - Actually I don't see a need to change that one
And I refuse to change Boba Fett out of fear for what would happen to me if I did. (You know who you are Crysania)
If you think of anymore, please let me know.
Instead I came up with an idea of my own, so here they are.
CHARACTER NAME CHANGES IF STAR WARS WAS A PORNOGRAPHIC MOVIE
Darth Vader - Deep Vibrator
Han Solo - Hand Solo
(Princess) Leia Organa- (Princess) Lay-Me To Orgasm
Anikan Skywalker - And-I'm-In Bedlayer
Yoda - Mona (Cheesy, I know, but what on this list isn't?)
Emperor Palpatine - Mounting Papsmear (Did I just get that gross?)
Chewie - Actually I don't see a need to change that one
And I refuse to change Boba Fett out of fear for what would happen to me if I did. (You know who you are Crysania)
If you think of anymore, please let me know.
Monday, January 08, 2007
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It has been found that the penguins have reached the North Pole and added a new species to their list of allies.
Latest reports show that they have been joined by the polar bears. It is my suspicion that they will use these gentle bohemeths as their Marine Corps. Reports lead us to believe that underhanded tactics were used in their recruitment.
It started with a simple bribe of a bottle of cola soda. Then our small black and white militia lied to the furry but gentle beasts claiming that the eskimos were plotting to use large cases of poison to reduce their population.
Stay tuned for more updates.
Latest reports show that they have been joined by the polar bears. It is my suspicion that they will use these gentle bohemeths as their Marine Corps. Reports lead us to believe that underhanded tactics were used in their recruitment.
It started with a simple bribe of a bottle of cola soda. Then our small black and white militia lied to the furry but gentle beasts claiming that the eskimos were plotting to use large cases of poison to reduce their population.
Stay tuned for more updates.
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