Forgive Me

Ok, I have been slacking again. I deserve to be shot.

It has been 10 days since my last entry and I used to do one at lease every 7 days.

LET ME LIVE!!!!!!!!!

It has been busy. I have a job now, I shaved things that are supposed to be hairy on a 34 year old man.

YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started this thing at an early age. (I tend to die almost every 6-8 months in a freak accident, and because God hates me, I get reincarnated almost immediately with all my memories in tact. The media have stopped reporting my deaths because by the time they show up, I have come back and it makes them really cranky when that happens.)

I wanted an outlet for my particluar brand of brain-dribble. (My friend Rod thinks I should sue Jack Black for copyright infringment because he is rich and famous for using my personality. I thought about it, but as he is 4 years older than me, I think I would lose the case.)

And now I have been gone for so long, I have lost my faithful audience. Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? Don't you know our blogger cry for you? Ohh Ohh Ohh!!

I hope you will find it in your hearts to forgive me for being so tardy. ( I would have published this earlier, but I spent the past 5 days trying to figure out how to apologize.)

I will do Much Music, I mean Much Love, I mean much better in the past. (I am not sure if I have a future. My birth certificate expires soon.)

Things I Want To See In This World

Humans erased
Easy to open CD packaging
Fat guys become the new Brad Pitts
A pill that allows you to lose up to 80lbs safely
More men in kilts
More chubby chasers with loose morals
Some one at an awards show thank Satan and Veggie Thins for their success
An all midget soap opera
The death of attitude
Less interference in other peoples lives
Bond for President
Robin Williams as dictator of the world for a week
My feet
A gorilla in a tutu doing the Macarena