Random Thoughts

So, where do Eskimo's go on vacation?

Is there really more than one way to skin a cat?

Why is it called a blowjob when there is mostly sucking involved?

Should we really be able to get glue out of the bottle?

Why is it taking a "dump" when we leave something behind?

Why do we perform sexual acts involving out mouths and genitalia, then consider a lick on the cheek disgusting? It is the same saliva as when you get a kiss on the cheek?

Whoever said money cannot buy happiness, never got a really expensive call girl.

Why do people say that life sucks? What have the got to compare it to?

Who is Pete that we are doing it for his sake? I can understand doing it for Christ's sake, but I don't know Pete.

Songs Finally Answered

I was informed that I did not answer the question "Will you still love me tomorrow?" on one of my previous blogs.

Shame on me. That is one of the biggest and earliest song questions ever asked.

The answer is simple.

Only if I remember tonight.

Got Another Question

So, who do you think would look better shaved.

Where?

That is up to you!!!!

Questions Finally Answered.

Who let the dogs out? - Droopy. He missed his friends.

Where have all the flowers gone? - Stupid question in the desert!!

Why does it all have to end? - Because then we would not have a reason for chick songs.

Who are you? - I refuse to answer on the grounds that I will be in big doo doo!!!!

Culture Time

I never wanted to do this job in the first place!
I... I wanted to be...

A LUMBERJACK!

(piano vamp)

Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of
British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Sequoia!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!


Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars???????

CHORUS

I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspendies?? and a .... a Bra????
(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a *girlie*? Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

CHORUS

What Is Wrong With People?

I have a Facebook account. I am having a poke-war with a few people. Hey, it is a fun way to keep in touch without having to have an actual message.

There is actually a group of people out there who say that poking is the same as fucking!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

C'mon folks. You are just giving someone a reminder that you are out there!!! Grow up!!!! If it the same as fucking, then I am the biggest slut on the planet!!!! And I might as well get the divorce papers done up, because, if I am doing all this poking/fucking then I am cheating on her with more partners than Homer Simpson has had donuts!!!!!

If it wasnt for the fact that there are some real nice people out there, I would let the penguins have you.

I Have Been Away Too Long

Hello sweetie. Did you miss me?

Come here and give me a kiss. Ohhhhh how I missed you. I am sorry to have been away for so long baby. I have been working and am just exhausted at the end of the day. Then the weekend comes and I am out all the time. I am so sorry to have neglected you.

I promise to return to you soon. I need to go to sleep. I promise to come back to you soon.

Good Night my little snugglypuff.

(There, now my blog should not be so upset that I have been away for so long)