As God.....

I have decided that I want to run for the position of God.

As such, I am stating my list of 10 Commandments for you to follow.

1. Thou shalt shake thy booty at least once a week.
2. Thou shalt be given free liposuction if thou art 40lbs overweight.
3. Thou shalt not kill. (One the originals, I know, but I like it.)
4. Thou shalt wear only thongs and G-strings if thou art a woman (except that time of the month).
5. Thou shalt discover the need for penguins to the ecological well being of the universe. If one cannot be found, thou shalt use them as new food source.
6. Thou shalt take turns massaging God's nether regions.
7. Thou shalt ensure that scientists work on a way to make chocolate non-fattening, taste the same as the fattening kind that currently exists, and make it as healthy to eat as vegetables.
8. Thou shalt earn at least $56 an hour, but only work 4 hours a day.
9. Thou shalt take turns massaging God's nether regions. (I know this is a repeat, but I consider it important enough to be put down twice!!)
10. Every day, I shall appoint one person to be the Patron Saint of Sex. Keep the prayers coming, tomorrow, it could be YOU!!!!!!!





Has anyone seen my car keys?