Another List

Here is another list that compiles the random thoughts in my head.

TITLES FOR THE BIOGRAPHICAL FILMS OF CELEBRITIES

Seriously, What Have I Done? - The Paris Hilton Story
White Trash To Fame And Back Again - The Britney Spears Story
Mewoswasfdlaseryrodrfrhg (My Life Is Seriously Fucked Up) - The Ozzy Osbourne Story
Pouty Teen Cop To Ambiguosly Gay Pirate - The Johnny Depp Story
Seriously, What The Fuck Is Going On - My Story (I'm not a celebrity, YET!!!!)

Meh, bored now. Blog over. Go home.

Forgive Me

Ok, I have been slacking again. I deserve to be shot.

It has been 10 days since my last entry and I used to do one at lease every 7 days.

LET ME LIVE!!!!!!!!!

It has been busy. I have a job now, I shaved things that are supposed to be hairy on a 34 year old man.

YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started this thing at an early age. (I tend to die almost every 6-8 months in a freak accident, and because God hates me, I get reincarnated almost immediately with all my memories in tact. The media have stopped reporting my deaths because by the time they show up, I have come back and it makes them really cranky when that happens.)

I wanted an outlet for my particluar brand of brain-dribble. (My friend Rod thinks I should sue Jack Black for copyright infringment because he is rich and famous for using my personality. I thought about it, but as he is 4 years older than me, I think I would lose the case.)

And now I have been gone for so long, I have lost my faithful audience. Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? Don't you know our blogger cry for you? Ohh Ohh Ohh!!

I hope you will find it in your hearts to forgive me for being so tardy. ( I would have published this earlier, but I spent the past 5 days trying to figure out how to apologize.)

I will do Much Music, I mean Much Love, I mean much better in the past. (I am not sure if I have a future. My birth certificate expires soon.)

Things I Want To See In This World

Humans erased
Easy to open CD packaging
Fat guys become the new Brad Pitts
A pill that allows you to lose up to 80lbs safely
More men in kilts
More chubby chasers with loose morals
Some one at an awards show thank Satan and Veggie Thins for their success
An all midget soap opera
The death of attitude
Less interference in other peoples lives
Bond for President
Robin Williams as dictator of the world for a week
My feet
A gorilla in a tutu doing the Macarena

Sorry

Ok, as seen in the comment for my last blog, I got in shit for not having an entertaining blog entry.

I am sorry.(Seriously, is anybody actually reading this thing?)

I will do better.

I never should have published such a lame entry.

Thoughts This Week.

I got nothing.

Things That Don't Belong In My Underwear

Pizza
A Guy
A Lawnmower
A Gun
A Crazed Midget With An Irrational Fear Of Snakes And The Personally Decided Mission To Slice All That He Sees Into Ribbons
Cheese
Feminine Hygine Products
A G-String (C'mon, I am 270lbs and none of it is muscle)
Anything With Scales

Songs I Want Played At My Funeral

When I die (whenever it is that one of many have planned) I do not want sappy songs played. I want something a little different.

Please play the following tunes:

Wipeout - The Safari's
The Doctor Who Theme (not Doctorin' The Tardis by the Timelords, but the actual theme)
50 Ways To Leave Your Lover - Simon and Garfunkel
I Want To Break Free - Queen
The Haunting - Kamelot
Superheroes - Edguy
Bat Out Of Hell - Meat Loaf
The Night Patty Murphy Died - Great Big Sea
Touch Of Evil - Judas Priest
Highway To Hell - AC/DC

Thank you for your support